How Do You Like Your Man's Body?

You like that ladies? I figured you would.

All jokes aside, I had a question about how you guys perceive men's bodies. A friend of mine is going through an issue where she is a little unsure about whether the guy she is seeing (a health nut) will still find her attractive when she's got some extra cushion for the pushin'. It got me to thinking myself about how I view men's bodies.

I personally don't care. If a fat guy (like fat guy) is cute, intelligent and the sex is mind blowing, I'm not caring. I would care about his health, but the cosmetic shit doesn't bother me. Naturally, he cannot be banished to his bed because he can't move, but you get it.

I love a man's body. I don't care what it looks like. I like them thick because I like to feel protected; like I have a freakin' grizzly bear next to me. I like to feel feminine. I'm a tall girl, and thick myself. This is why weight doesn't bother me. I also don't mind a toned guy either. It doesn't matter. My boyfriend should never worry about his weight because whether he has a six pack or a freakin' beer belly, I love him and want to smash the hell out of him.

If you care about the person, you should eventually talk about their health (which we do) but the washboard abs thing? Yeah, it's not that big of a deal. It really isn't. I actually only care about what's between your ears, your legs, and your shoulders.

What are your thoughts on the male body?

What's Your Foreplay Fantasy?

Everyone has a fantasy about what sex would be like in their perfect world, but I want to know what your foreplay fantasy is. Think about it.

I don't even have to get into the sex part, because I have a blast imagining the foreplay fantasy.

Depending on how I feel, I'll fantasize about something rough like coming out of the shower, and being attacked from the back, bent over the bed and eaten out from behind. Or if I feel less "reckless", I'll want the whole Red Shoe Diaries thing: the candlelight, the music, the slow kissing, the caressing, the fingering, the toe sucking, all of that. A tour of my body and his.

What is your foreplay fantasy?

Video: Cassie featuring Diddy "Must Be Love"

This is almost insulting, if you ask me. I find Cassie and Diddy to be so gross. It's because she seems so foolish to even waste her time with this guy, and naive to think he gives a damn about her. Of course, Diddy is a mouthbreather.

Kim Porter has this nigga's kids, but he can't find the balls to put her in the video, let alone marry her.

And Cassie, honey, it's NOT love. Night night! Keep ya condom tight!

When To Give Up?

I am a sexual being by nature. I am very into sex. I love the shit and I really enjoy it even more in a relationship. That's the best kind.

Naturally, being in a relationship for several years, you should be totally confident in trying new things. I am. I am down always. As long as it's not something that would compromise my sense of self-worth and decency.

On several occasions, I have asked Mister about something new (position, in the past it was hotels, he's over that now; role playing ideas) and he seemed not to down with it, not interested, seemed to give off the impression that it was cockamamie.

Naturally, over the years this has left me feeling saddened, unworthy, fat, etc. Which I am far from fat. If you saw me, you would amaze at my arms but I am a work in progress. I have been confused. I am unsure as to what I could be doing, if there is anything I even should be doing. Is it me? Is it him? I know that men are not good at communicating and all that, but some things should be put out there out of human decency.

Is it just me? I thought men loved nothing more than sex except their kids, video games and sports.

If I were to do this, I would be one of those women that finds sex unnecessary (my pearls!!).

What would you do if you were me?

Update #1 On Aren't You Married?

I am sure this won't be the last update because this guy is relentless.

Folks, I am not cheating on Mister with anyone. I have done the cheating thing and shame on me. I still cry when I realize all the hurt I caused a genuinely good person. I also love the man I am with. Shit, I'm wildly in love to the point where I feel like a teenager again, and this is after three years and some change.

With that out of the way, let me begin and explain why there isn't much of a sexual harassment type thing going on. Technically...

I have been sexually harassed before. When I brought it up, little was done and I was questioned. Not a lot of good memories to go with that, and I do not trust much will change now.

It's hard to believe in a system that believes you probably deserve it, because after all, I am a saucy negress. (Sarcasm)

For all my badassness, I am not assertive. In one too many cases and am in shock when he does this shit. I just come to work!

Since I wrote this, he has played footsy with me (he kicked at me, I didn't kick back), he's gotten close to me to poke at me, gotten close behind me (thought he was going to bend me over and push my skirt up he was so close), teased me, but he's also been cold. This is what is confusing. He will be crazy flirtatious, the super professional/cool in the same day. This is why I am like, "Okay, maybe he is just flirty and it is nothing."

I would kill my bf/husband if I knew he was doing this stuff. I understand karma, and do not want this to happen to me.

It reminds me of high school where the dude gives off vibes one day that he likes you, then the next, he pretends you don't exist and back and forth.

This is some ish!

A Romance/Erotic Novel For Black Women

I have always wanted to write a romantic/erotic novel, but always get hung up on details and where I want the story to go. I am never sure where I want the story to begin or end, so please offer opinions!

What romance novel featuring a black heroine would you read? What would the story encompass? What would the love interest look like? Who would he be? How much sexual detail do you want?

Personally, I like the forbidden and the mysterious. Something very dangerous liasons, but I also like something where the characters fight their sexual attractions only to succumb to it later, all under the pressure of something climactic (kidnapping) where the heroine is being rescued (Yes, black women like knights in shining armor).

I also really like femme fatales. Women like Marlene Dietrich in Shanghai Express: A cigarette smoking "fallen" woman who loves men, and loves "loving" men, but wants to settle down and find romance with one (kinda based on my life).

Thoughts are appreciated!

How Often Do You Think About Sex?

I know I think about it often. I am talking everyday, several times a day. I think about new positions, fantasies, and I replay the last time I had sex in my head constantly.

Sometimes this irritates me, mainly when Mister is working nights, because night time is the right time. When he isn't there, I feel deprived of sexual possibilities and my mind goes crazy.

I think about sex so much, I could never be and have never understood being single for long. I need to act out my desires, and won't wait.

Guys think they think about it more than women, but I think about it as much and I am sure I am not alone.

How often do you think about it?

Aren't You Married?

I have been fighting myself as to whether to share this, but I will because I am really taken aback by this behavior.

I work with a guy who is nice, funny but I feel like there is a bit of an undercurrent of emotion in him. I will get into that later.

When we met last year, he seemed nice. New dad, young (older than me), etc. He gravitated to me and I admit I was taken aback by this attention. Months would pass and we wouldn't see or talk to each other but I noticed that more often than not he would flirt with me or say things that could be construed as flirtations. Well this is where we are at:

- He has touched my head and rubbed my hair

- Gotten close to my neck and smelled me

- His hands linger. Like if he reaches back to touch something or rests his hands somewhere and its near mine he won't move.

- Flirtatious comments

- Play hit me in the arm in passing

- Look me up and down when talking to me

- Bumped into me from behind (came up behind me) to startle me

I think that's the gist. What are your thoughts folks?

He talks about his wife but I will say never affectionately. It's very matter of factly.

Am I reading too much into this?

Erotic Flow-etry: "Wide Eyed"

This is an original poem of mine. So don't steal it lol.

Wide Eyed

I stood there waiting for the feeling...
Didn't know when it would come.
Lately, I had been feeling
the need for a special kind of attention
The kind that is autonomous,
monogamous,
forbidden and taboo.
I wanted to touch his body;
I wanted to know the truth.
So, I took out my frustrations
at all I couldn't do.
So I stood there waiting for the feeling
and as it started to come
I bucked wide eyed and reeling,
pretending it was his touch.

Not Feeling What The Fuss Is About...

Not really feeling this video or the song. I think lyrically it could be better, stronger and the video is kind of cheesy. It's been done before and better. I did get the feeling from Kanye that it was going down though lol.